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The Cynic's Word Book

 

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LABOR n. One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
LAND n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure. Carried to its logical conclusion, it means that some have the right to prevent others from living; for the right to own implies the right exclusively to occupy; and in fact laws of trespass are enacted wherever property in land is recognized. It follows that if the whole area of terra firma is owned by A, B and C, there will be no place for D, E, F and G to be born, or, born as trespassers, to exist.
A life on the ocean wave,
A home on the rolling deep,
For the spark that nature gave
I have there the right to keep.

They give me the cat-o'-nine
Whenever I go ashore.
Then ho! for the flashing brine--
I'm a natural commodore!

Dodle

LANGUAGE n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.
LAOCOON n. A famous piece of antique scripture representing a priest of that name and his two sons in the folds of two enormous serpents. The skill and diligence with which the old man and lads support the serpents and keep them up to their work have been justly regarded as one of the noblest artistic illustrations of the mastery of human intelligence over brute inertia.
 
Old English 'word lottery' pick

Abhorring : p. pr. & vb. n. of Abhor; n. Detestation.; n. Object of abhorrence.

 
The Cynic's Word Book by Ambrose Bierce published in 1906 and 1911.
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